What to Do When Marriage Feels Lonely

Britnee Bradshaw | ibelieve

You never thought that you could feel so alone as a married person, but here you are. Marriage should never be lonely, but often it is, and there are some common reasons why. If you’re struggling with loneliness as a married person, take heart – it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are a few helpful ideas to create community both in your marriage and outside of it.

Being lonely in a marriage sounds really backward, doesn’t it?

So many of us who are married, or who’ve been married, got married because we wanted to spend forever with our very best friend and favorite person on earth. A great number of couples step into marriage with the “it’s you and me, forever” mentality. And you know what? That way of thinking is fully backed by Scripture.

Closeness and friendship with our spouse was woven into the very fibers of our being when God created us.

In Genesis chapter 2, we see that God made woman because He knew it wasn’t good for the man to be alone (v.18). Our Abba, in all his infinite wisdom, understood the troubles that loneliness would bring on mankind.

God’s solution was perfect. But when sin entered the picture, it caused a breaking in His original intent for marriage. At the very moment man and woman bit into the forbidden fruit, a spiritual separation occurred that would impact the marital covenant forever.

Why Am I Lonely?

When I found myself at the very sobering place of loneliness in my marriage, I thought of so many things that could be the culprit for my feelings.

I remember feeling confused because I couldn’t reconcile my loneliness. I saw my husband every day. We seemed to communicate well. I didn’t understand why I was lonely in our marriage. Perhaps I needed to spend more time with my husband doing fun things like impromptu date nights, or cooking dinner together.

As the years have passed by, the Lord has shown me some of the reasons for loneliness in my marriage as well as marriages in general. I pray if you’re feeling lonely, some of these reasons resonate with you so you would know that you aren’t alone!

Here are a few reasons you might be lonely in your marriage

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