DEAR MINISTER, it becomes a lot easier for you in ministry if your wife or fiancee (as the case may be) is your “first disciple” i.e. the first person you minister to constantly before ministering to others.
Your spiritual input in your “wife to be” is a major trigger for cohesiveness and synergy of purpose between the two of you later in ministry.
That your fiancee is spiritually inclined is fine. That she listens to tapes and reads books is fine. That she immerses herself into Kingdom service is fine.
However, never create any vaccum in the sense that you have no input in her spiritual make-up at all – it may really be a bad omen.
You will need to realize that whatever “fresh revelation” you receive from the Lord, she’s the first person to share it with.
Whatever the dealings of God in your life are, she should be privy to them because she’s an organically-inseperable part of you.
When you priortize investing in your wife, then buying into your dreams and soaking herself into your vision becomes spontaneous.
You should be the NUMBER ONE PERSON she listens to; not other ministers.
She should be able to quote you word-for-word without missing the lines.
It is an aberation for you to invest heavily in other sisters in terms of “spiritual stuffs” and leave your “wife to be” to chance, thinking she will automatically “fall in line”.
That’s a self-inflicted error. Another error is to think that because she’s listening to other ministers, she will automatically align herself with your vision.
No, that’s a self-deluded idea. Infact, I have seen sisters break up their relationships because they heard what another minister said but couldn’t situate it properly in the context of the purpose of God for their relationship.
Yes I have seen that happen. Now am I saying that your wife or fiancee should not listen to other ministers? No!
Am I saying that you should be overbearing on her? No! Am I saying that you should turn her to a robot such that she can’t think on her own? No!
What I’m simply saying is that it’s important that two of you drink from the same “source” or “sources” – it goes a long way in MARITAL ALIGNMENT.
Be that as it may, you’ve got a lot of work to do on your fiancee; you’ve got a lot of investment to make in your wife.
The thought is that on your wedding day, when your wife is “PRESENTED” to you, you can confidently say that “THIS IS THE WORK OF MY HAND” – please understand that statement in context and I will prove it by Scriptures.
You must have been working on your fiancee, ministering to her, helping her, nurturing her, motivating her, encouraging her, and then on the wedding day, “THE WORK OF YOUR HAND” is PRESENTED to you – you can’t have headache or heartache in marriage and ministry going through that route or following that procedure.
You see, that’s EXACTLY the same thing that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church, does to the Church on a daily basis ahead of DIVINE PRESENTATION and THE MARRIAGE SUPPER OF THE LAMB.
Paul wrote about it in the Book of Ephesians:
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might PRESENT it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Here, we see Christ working on and ministering to His Church – sanctifying, cleansing and washing her with the washing of water by the Word so that He might PRESENT an unspotted and unwrinkled Church.
This is done primarily by the ministry of the Word whereby the Church gets conformed to the image of Christ continually – 2 Cor.3:18, Jam.1:25.
It goes to show therefore that the more your wife listens to you – your wisdom, your insight, the revelation, your instructions, your Word ministry in general, the more she’s conformed and aligned to the purpose of God for your life.
Also, from the episode in Ephesians 5:25-27, we realize that PREPARATION COMES BEFORE PRESENTATION.
Your wife becomes PRESENTABLE to the public in the context of God’s purpose for your ministry after you have worked on her – she reproduces the details of the vision.
Anything outside of that will make her commit a gaffe in the public and people begin to suspect division and dissension between the two of you.
I want to say this Sir; if that lady feels too big to be coached, mentored or tutored by you, then LET HER GO.
If she feels too big to receive direct training, investment and ministration from you, you can as well forget about the relationship – it will save your ministry.
The lady that will give you peace of mind is the one who’s ready to buy into your vision, and you can easily detect this by her disposition in courtship.
You see, none of us is perfect yet; we’re all working towards perfection, but if you see a sister that’s ready to LEARN, UNLEARN and RELEARN, you have found a treasure that is bigger than the whole world.
During our courtship, I bought books for my fiancee. I gave her books and asked her to read them and give me her impressions.
I asked her to listen to my teachings and then transcribe. Many times I sat down while she would be preaching to me and I would be making notes and thereafter chip in one or two things.
We had seasons of prayers and fastings and she regularly led prayers.
I remember there was a time I embarked on a 70-day fasting and prayer; I didn’t ask her to join me – I didn’t want to force her, and more so she had an exam during that period.
But you know what; OUT OF HER OWN VOLITION, she did 40 days out of the 70 days of the fast and to the Glory of God, the rest is history.
DEAR MINISTER, truth is that THE FUTURE CAN BE PREDICTED NOW because TODAY CONTROLS TOMORROW.
Most things that will affect your future are already being cooked today. Therefore don’t take things for GRANTED so that you’ll not be GROUNDED.
Be deliberate and intentional about ALIGNMENT IN MARRIAGE and you can start it now.
I’m thoroughly convinced that MARRIAGE AND MINISTRY will work if we, THROUGH THE GRACE OF GOD AT WORK IN US, give it all that it takes, and our lives, homes and ministries will be a showpiece of Heaven on earth.
I hope this made little sense?
Source: Bimbo Animashaun Teaching Ministries |Published with permission.