BOOK REVIEW: THINGS I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED

None planned to get married to divorce but everyone fall in love.

Research recorded that every Marriage collapse within the average of seven to ten years, leading to high rate of broken homes, which is the cruiser of broken economy, broken system, broken Religion, broken Government, especially broken Heart.

The Euphoric feelings of “in-Love” experience may brought two individuals together, but may not sustain them in the institution. It has to do with proper planning and preparation greased with knowledge from the experienced in Marriage corridor.

Gary Chapman provided an exclusive and inclusive experience about what must be known about Marriage and to abate from all forms of ignorance surrounding marriages.

The book is not ONLY for intending couples, but everyone intending for Marriage: For the individual who is not in a dating relationship and have no immediate prospect of Marriage, the book provides a blueprint on shifting the relationship status, for those in dating room, decision to progress and when to get locked. For engaged, it is auspice that helps to re-examining the foundation and learn the skills that are necessary for building a successful Marriage.

Carefully sit with your gadget and sip off this immeasurable lifetime knowledge.
Thanks,
Opeyemi Oluwashegun DUROTOYE

“Marriage, between a man and woman, is the foundation of all human societies. The reality is that when children become adults, most of them will get married”(Gary Chapman). People don’t get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for Marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammate, just as said by the Holy Book, help meet in an intimate relationship.

Does “in-love” matter in a relationship that is leading to Marriage? Will euphoria feeling sustain any Marriage? What happened to feelings and affections in Marriage? Should we keep dating or upgrade the status?

Research indicates that the average life span of the “in-love” obsession is two years, while some last longer and a bit less. Tingles are important. They are real, but they are not the basic for a satisfactory Marriage, tingles such as hangout to restaurant, Cinemas, and other recreational centres.

However, have we consider the fact that our social interests, intellectual dialogue, emotional control, spiritual unity, common values, finances and other hard issues are miles apart. How can our value systems and goals be contradictory and be “in-love”?

The Author, Gary Chapman narrative about “falling in love” experience was liken to Jungle animal Hunt; “A hole is dug in the midst of the animal’s path to the water hole, then camouflaged with branches and leaves. The poor animal runs along, minding his own business. Then all of a sudden it falls into the pit and is trapped. This is why the Author expressed that the first to know before Marriage is THAT BEING IN LOVE IS NOT AN ADEQUATE FOUNDATION FOR BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.

Also, That ROMANTIC LOVE has two STAGES, is another eye opener discussed by Gary Chapman, the first stage of romantic love is MUCH CAUTIONAL, while the second stage is MOST INTENTIONAL than the first stage; each of these stages have their specifications, getting to know the person fundamentally by asking intelligent questions, sharing ideas, knowing your partner strengths, weakness, interests and lots are basic in the first romantic stage.

The second stage involved being intentional about growing your partner and shaping of each other for Marriage if intending.

It should be understood That the saying “LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER” and “LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON” is not a myth, this is the third of the list, when both of you look at some manifesting acts or occurring traits that can be trace to either of our parents. To some degree, we are all products of our environment, it is not odd that we are likely to act out like our parents, because we have grown up with them, we don’t recognise their patterns of communication as being unhealthy. The good news is that these communication patterns can be changed and the time to make the change is while DATING. Dating should be the platform to discuss issues openly, the solution lies in accepting these traits or negotiating change.

“Conflicts are not a sign that you have married wrong person. They simply affirm that you’re human. We all tend to assume that our ideas are the best ideas. What we fail to recognise is that our spouse has the same opinion of their ideas. Their logic will not agree with your logic, and their emotions will not mirror your own. Our ideas and perceptions of life are influenced by our history, our values and our personality”, this is one of the basic idea shared by the author on How to solve DISAGREEMENTS without ARGUING.

Does real men apologise? Does real men cry? Does “i’m sorry” really pacify your partner from those harsh words, and unnecessary arguments? Have you learned about 5 languages of Apology? All of us are human and humans sometimes do and say things that are demeaning to other people, there THAT APOLOGISING IS A SIGN OF STRENGTH is one thing to know before Marriage.

Jesus loves you, accept Him today, tomorrow may be too late

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