(The Tags, Labels, Cautions, Precautions, Purposes, Principles, Protocols And The Way Forward)
– Pastor Bimbo Animashaun
Older ministers in this country and across the globe can boast of ministry relationships that have been stable for at least 40 years or more.
Some young ministers cannot boast of a stable ministerial relationship of 5 years.
Now this is with exception to relationships where a party adamantly and unrepentantly violates the sacred trust, principles, protocols and consecrations.
But in situations where non-weightier matters are concerned, maturity through mutual understanding and forbearance can be exercised.
It takes a lot of maturity, brokenness, understanding, submission, adjustment, and love to keep relationships for a long time, more so if such relationships are designed to be so.
On one hand, we cannot outrightly knock or lampoon those who don’t keep long relationships – there could be facts and realities that we are not privy to.
On the other hand, as much as possible, a minister must take his time well, discern the mind of God, study people well, understand their value system and also their depth of love walk before be begins to label relationships.
That’s why you don’t rush to call anyone your spiritual father, mentor, covenant friend, son, daughter, etc.
Such relationships have fiducial dimensions and you have a right under God to cross check in the Holy Ghost before you venture into such relationships.
I have maintained over the years and I still maintain till Jesus comes that there are no permanent relationships in ministry, even though it may be God’s design for some relationships to be permanent but the two people involved in it have to work things out; God will not work it out for them.
Let me throw more light on that position for further clarification: I put it like this to a friend some years ago,
“There are no permanent relationships in ministry. The longevity of every ministerial relationship is predicated on mutual conformity to its underlying principles and shared values. Where a party decides to discontinue in the observance of such principles, the relationship comes to an abrupt end. But where the parties continually sustain the tempo and momentum, the relationship is maintained”.
It’s as simple as that. No emotions here. When I said that, my friend grappled with it for years but later, he came to terms with it, and today, he believes that principle more than I do and we’re best of friends.
This is just one of the simple and practical wisdom tips that the Holy Spirit has used to guide my choices over the years.
I don’t loosely call people my sons or daughters and I don’t loosely call anyone my mentor – such relationships have price tags.
I am Scripturally instructed to LOVE everyone but I am not Scripturally instructed to RELATE with everyone, because two cannot walk together except they be agreed – Amos 3:3.
By the Grace and Mercy of the Lord, I have learnt a few things in ministry and I’m still learning.
I have seen people change over the years. Someone you started relating with at a fiducial and confidential level suddenly changed along the way and went 1000 miles in an opposite direction to yours.
In that instance, what will you do? Well, you will not want to sacrifice your destiny on the altar of emotions.
So, I know that stuffs happen in ministry but anyone who loves you very deeply and is submitted to the Lordship of the Word and Leadership of the Spirit will not want to hurt your destiny.
Although it’s quite painful that at some point, you may have no choice than to let go of some relationships especially where there are constant violations of the trust, principles and protocols and the party involved is not ready to bulge or adjust upon every appeal.
But it is far better to have stable relationships in your life, calling and ministry without having to go through unnecessary pains and heartaches.
This is why you shouldn’t rush to label people. Let God label people for you and let the people prove themselves to be worthy of the trust that Heaven has bestowed upon them.
This will save you a lot of stress and fastrack your journey to destiny fulfilment in ministry.
May the Lord grant each one of us a discerning heart and mind to put people where they belong in our lives, callings and ministries such that our assignments bring honour and glory to His Name.
Amen!
I trust this made a little sense Sirs and Mas?
Grace!!!
Aphorism CITY 